I should be studying...

I should very well be studying for my paper on Tuesday. But I had the sudden urge to blog or to simply put down what I'm feeling now. As I was going through some questions to prepare myself for exams, memories from the past started coming back. I had been really nervous about doing well for my last paper and finally graduate not because I can't stand it but because I really should by now. In the last 3 months I have had such a hard time keeping myself together from having a complete emotional break down from all the stress and pressure that I'm facing. Surely you must be saying " Girl, there are bigger things out there, and you're worried about not passing your exams? "

You know, that made perfect sense. There are bigger things out there. This is nothing by comparison. But somehow it was a huge emotional and spiritual struggle. Did I bring it upon myself? I don't know. I guess I won't ever need to. Maybe not knowing is the best part of this whole experience. I've come to admit how helpless I am without Him. How He is in complete control of my life and all that's happened and will happen for me. If anything, He didn't fail me. I failed Him for not trusting Him enough and doubting Him every now and then. We always say He's got other plans and He will see us through everything. We need to wait on Him. Definitely easier said than done.

Its very true. Tonight, all the memories of how faithful He was before came right back like it happened just yesterday. Though it wasn't very long ago. There's this sense of peace that tells me no matter what happens, He will be there. No matter what, God is ever so faithful and He will decide my life for me. I don' t know if taking myself away from studying for just a bit to share this is the right thing to do. But I know this 15 minutes of Selah, mulling and be overwhelmed in the peace that only God can give, is worth every minute. I am clueless on what's going to happen. But I guess we'll find out.

Thanks for listening =)

The one who eagerly awaits His miracle to bring all things to completion. Me.